On the last day of term I was desperate not to fall into the trap of video watching so I set my classes varying tasks based on their abilities. For one class I asked them to read some ‘Shakespearean’ sonnets which I later revealed were actually pop songs rewritten in this form. They had a bit of fun trying to guess which songs they were and then I asked them to copy the premise and write their own. I had a go too but I didn’t share mine with the class – in fact, I only just remembered that I hadn’t finished so the last two lines were written about ten minutes ago.
Numericals that are multiples of three.
I find that wench physically attractive
and I desire her to assault me
– to get low is mine only objective.
Toward the loophole, toward the wall;
until there is perspiration on my manhood;
until the neighboring wenches crawl;
to the mother lovers, contraception be good.
Yay, the woman be beautiful and clean
but love or love not? That is the question.
She’ll be divine, for my mind has foreseen
her undergarments in my possession.
But the tavern owner has warned the guard,
to get low will be gruelling for this bard.
-based on “Get Low” by Lil Jon and the East Side Boyz
It’s not great but it was a bit of a laugh.
Here’s how the professionals do it: